Tuesday, November 24, 2009

We can't afford debt, so let's sell bonds!

Glenn Beck must be on the verge of a mental breakdown- assuming he was ever sane to begin with, that is. His opening rant today couldn't even manage to stay internally consistent. Although the majority of it seemed to be focused on criticizing the Obama administration's Afghanistan policy (or lack thereof), he also took a brief detour into ranting about the US national debt. Then, not even three minutes later, Beck advocated selling war bonds to finance the continuation of hostilities in Afghanistan. Apparently, Beck doesn't understand that selling bonds is borrowing money. Here's the video- with the two excerpts (it repeats three times to drive home the point):

Beck can't even manage to stay internally consistent for five minutes. Can any of his fans explain to me why people listen to this clown?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Fiction authors tell you the truth?

Glenn Beck (Alfred Peachous) explained today who he turns to for "the truth," and it should come as a surprise to no one that for him, the ultimate source of truth is fiction authors.

This really explains a lot about Glenn's paranoid, delusional rantings. If the line between truth and fiction is nonexistent, then the more often a lie is repeated, the more true it must become. The blurred line in Beck's mind between truth and fiction should give most of his hardcore fans pause. The inability to separate fantasy from reality is grounds for having someone declared legally insane. Of course, that also explains why there has been no answer to the question of whether Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Maybe he did it, but has convinced himself that it was just a fantasy.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Glenn Beck gets censored by Fox!

Poor Glenn! Alfred Peachous (while in character as Glenn Beck) got censored by Fox today, just as he hit his stride in a rant about all the things that one Congressman should fix in Washington. He got through wasteful spending, fat interns, creating jobs in districts that don't exist, hookers, lies, meaningless resolutions, communists in the White House, 2000-page bills that he hasn't read, Treasury Secretaries that don't pay their taxes, and fiscal policies that don't make any sense whatsoever. At that point, Glenn was cut off. Why not ask the Congressman to eliminate rape and murder, Glenn? Even just the rapes and murders which occurred in 1990 would be a good start.

Of course, I can't help Glenn/Alfred with the issue of his understanding fiscal policies, since by his own admission, he doesn't understand the economy. Exactly what the Congressman is going to do about fat interns or prostitution is a little beyond me as well, and since it's the Senate not the House of Representatives which confirms cabinet members, I don't think the Congressman can do much about the Secretary of the Treasury, either. Actually, it appears that Glenn Beck doesn't know much about how the federal government works at all. That raises questions like "What is this man (or character) doing on the air?" and "Why do people listen to this imbecile?" I don't know the answer to those questions, just like I don't know if Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Glenn Beck discredits himself

Wednesday: Glenn Beck tells the world that Glenn Beck doesn't understand the subject he spent an hour discussing the day before.

I'm really laughing at this right now. Glenn spent his entire show yesterday pissing and moaning about how the Government is destroying the economy. Then today he announces that one of the most frustrating things about his job is "trying to explain the economy to people, and to understand it myself." Apparently, trying to understand the economy for Glenn is like "banging my head against the wall." Trust me, Glenn. That's how I feel about watching your show.

Of course, I'm not sure why anyone would listen to a man who refuses to deny the persistent rumor that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, but in case you needed another reason, there it is.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hour-Long Infomercial: The new Glenn Beck Show

Unfortunately, I watch Glenn Beck's daily show on Fox News Right-Wing Opinion Channel. I do this in order to be able to criticize and refute the fear-mongering Wharrrgarbl that issues forth from his oral cavity. Actually, "watch" may be a mis-characterization of what I am doing, since I frequently find my self engaged in facepalming or gazing at the ceiling in a silent plea to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Beck didn't actually say whatever inanity I just heard.

Today's show was particularly embarrassing. It was basically an hour-long infomercial shilling for the group that constitutes the majority of Glenn Beck's few remaining advertisers: Companies selling gold. Doom-and-gloom economic predictions have become standard fare on Beck's show of late, including simplistic analysis of monetary policies that would make any freshman economics professor cringe. The point of all of this seems to be that the US Dollar is doomed, globalization is inevitable, and that inflation will erode American purchasing power to almost nothing. This apocalyptic predictions then inevitably segue into commercials where convicted criminal G. Gordon Liddy and others implore the viewers to invest their money in a safe, physical commodity- GOLD!

I guess Beck must need to take a periodic break from his usual fare of comparing healthcare reform to being raped by Roman Polanski, and relentlessly pursuing his witch-hunt of ACORN and SEIU. Or maybe Beck is afraid that what advertisers he has left will follow the lead of so many others and withdraw their sponsorship. Whatever the motivation, Beck has a long way to go if he now has his eyes on being the next Billy Mays or Vince Offer.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Today on Glenn Beck: We're the young girl getting raped

No, You didn't read that wrong. Glenn Beck today chose to describe health care reform in the terms of Roman Polanski raping a young girl. Watch:

Maybe it's just me, but that analogy seems a little crude, especially given the unanswered questions that have been swirling since the beginning of September regarding Beck's own involvement in the 1990 rape and murder of another young girl. Does Glenn Beck have rape on the brain? Is he really a homicidal pedophile who will offend again and again until someone stops him?

I'm not saying he is. I'm just asking questions. I'm also advising young girls that they might be safer if they skip this year's performance of Glenn Beck's "The Christmas Sweater"

Friday, November 13, 2009

Glenn Beck: On the side of criminals

Yesterday's Glenn Beck show included an update on Glenn's ACORN witch hunt. Specifically, Glenn is outraged by two things:
  • That ACORN is suing the government over being stripped of its funding through an unconstitutional Bill of Attainder
  • That the California Attorney General is investigating the criminal conduct of the "filmmakers" who made hidden-camera videos in ACORN offices
The Bill of Attainder issue is a Constitutional one. The provision prohibiting such bills exists to prevent Congress from becoming judge and jury. If a person or organization commits a crime, they should be tried in a court of law, not the halls of Congress.

Glenn's manufactured outrage at the direction of the California Attorney General's investigation into the tapes would be hilarious if it was not intended to fuel attacks on a group that exists to help those in society who need help the most. Of course, Beck does not address the fact that the ACORN employees called the police to report the suspected criminal activity. To Beck, it is also completely irrelevant that the recording of the private conversation was in violation of California Penal Code section 632(a). Watch the clip from the show below:

For the life of me, I cannot explain why Glenn Beck is outraged that the California Attorney General is investigating a crime instead of a non-crime, unless Beck is actually pro-criminal. Glenn's defense of criminals may also have something to do with his refusal to address the rumor that he was himself involved in the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Glenn Beck according to South Park

Last night's South Park episode took on right-wing media demagogue Glenn Beck. For folks in the US, the episode is available to watch HERE.

Some obvious parallels to the recent "Did Glenn Beck Rape and Murder a Young Girl in 1990?" saga are present. Cartman gets his start doing the morning announcements, quickly expanding his media empire from audio-only, to video, to writing books. The main target of his attacks is student body president Wendy Testaburger, who is blamed for all manner of ills at the school. The attacks continue and escalate rapidly from maintenance issues at the school to being a drug-addicted slut, to being responsible for a Smurf genocide.

Cartman's grand plan disintegrates when he finds his rhetorical "asking questions" style turned back on him, suggesting that it was his illicit relationship with Smurfette which was actually responsible for the wiping out of the Smurfs, and the untimely death of Smurfette.

The lesson here is the same as the one delivered by the World Intellectual Property Organization last week to Beck in its denial of his complaint against Isaac Eiland-Hall- that employing a rhetorical, accusatory, "just asking questions" style to attack others leaves you open to the same tactics. Will Glenn Beck learn from this South Park episode? Probably not. The upside is that this means that there will be no interruption in the steady stream of idiocy, providing continued LULZ for people who are less impressionable than Butters.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Welcome Back, Glenn!

Glenn Beck returned to the air today after his recent appendectomy, and I would like to extend him a big Welcome Back! Of course, I was hoping that now that the WIPO complaint he filed has been resolved (Beck lost, in case you didn't hear), he might have something to say about the rumors that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Sadly, it seems that Glenn has passed on yet another opportunity to address these vicious allegations.

The Red Phone is staying on Glenn's desk! Good News! This means that the 1990 Truth Hotline will not have to worry about getting lonely.

Glenn reiterated on today's show that the people must not be afraid to ask questions, but rather must question with boldness. In the spirit of Glenn Beck's own principles, I find myself now asking again (and again, and again, and again ad nauseum...): Did Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1990? Maybe one of these days there will be an answer from Glenn other than damning silence.

Edit: Fixed WIPO link

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Glenn Beck 1990 story goes big-time

The story of Isaac Eiland-Hall's WIPO victory over Glenn Beck was all over the interwebs today. Huffington Post, Gawker, Slashdot, NPR, The Register, and even Weekly World News covered the victory at the international arbitration panel.

The site was erroneously reported to be down by some sources, but is still up and operating at http://gb1990.com/ even though Eiland-Hall voluntarily gave the original domain (GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com) to Beck following the decision in the case.

New sites have already popped up, the most amusing of which (in my opinion) is GlennBeckIsNowAPublicLaughingstock.com -consisting of the full WIPO decision. This isn't going away Mr. Beck. The people want to know the truth.

Monday, November 09, 2009

So, did Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl?

Now that the WIPO has ruled on GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com, and the First Amendment and Free Speech have emerged unscathed (the First Amendment was wearing its chastity belt), what happens now?

The WIPO decision notwithstanding, the domain owner has given control of the domain to Beck. Now that the domain has been ruled to be protected political speech, the road is clear for ordinary citizens to continue to host blowhards from all points on the political spectrum on their own petards. The site and the movement, however, live on at gb1990.com. Several additional domains also point to the site, and the highlighting of hypocrisy will continue unabated.

Glenn will be returning to the radio and TV tomorrow after his bout with appendicitis. Hopefully, he will take a few minutes to finally address the question of whether Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990. Now that there is no longer any pending litigation, there is no conceivable reason to avoid the issue. If he continues to remain silent, I think we can only take his continued silence as a tacit admission of guilt. The 1990 truth hotline is waiting.

Friday, November 06, 2009

BREAKING: Glenn Beck loses his WIPO case

Today Glenn Beck lost in his battle against Free Speech. There are 3 things that must be proven in order to cause a domain name (like GlennBeckRapedAndMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com) to be transferred to the complaining party. The panel found that Beck has only proven one of the three.

Marc Randazza, the lawyer for the respondent has a post about it in his blog, along with links to the decision.

Free speech issues aside, the finding that Beck only proved one of the three things he needed to earns him a grade of 33/100, which is an "F" any way you look at it.

Glenn Beck has appendicitis

I would like to take a moment to wish Glenn Beck a speedy recovery from his emergency appendectomy. Maybe after he gets better, he will finally address the questions that have been circulating about his alleged involvement in the 1990 rape and murder of a young girl.

The Onion has a great video lamenting Glenn's "alive" status:

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

And Jon Stewart did a great Glenn Beck bit last night on the war over Glenn's internal organs:
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